SSA
Hi, xxxxxxx. I'm sorry it has taken me some time to get back to you on this. I definitely won't pretend to know all the answers—and I definitely don't envy your position. Your faith and commitment to the Lord are impressive and I'm so happy to hear you have felt Him by your side along the way.
One of the first thoughts I have pertains to how Heavenly Father feels about your mom and your older sister. I know He loves them, even more perfectly than you love them! Although certain blessings/evidences of His love may be withheld because they are conditional on keeping commandments and sacred covenants, His love for them is still perfect and unfailing. So as you feel pain/frustration/concern and whatever other feelings for your mom and older sister, know that Heavenly Father understands what you are going through because, after all, they are His daughters. And He hasn't given up on them either. As Elder Patrick Kearon said, "God is in relentless pursuit of [your mom and older sister]...and He employs every possible measure to bring [them] back" ("God's Intent is to Bring You Home," April 2024 GC). So keep loving them, keep praying for them, and know that Heavenly Father won't EVER give up on them.
A second thought pertains to the eternal nature of truth. It should not surprise us when eternal truth is not welcomed or appreciated by God's children. However, that does not make it less true! I love what President Nelson taught when he said, "Sometimes we as leaders of the Church are criticized for holding firm to the laws of God, defending the Savior’s doctrine, and resisting the social pressures of our day. But our commission as ordained apostles is ‘to go into all the world to preach [His] gospel unto every creature.’ In doing so, sometimes we are accused of being uncaring as we teach the Father’s requirements for exaltation in the celestial kingdom. But wouldn’t it be far more uncaring for us not to tell the truth—not to teach what God has revealed? It is precisely because we do care deeply about all of God’s children that we proclaim His truth. We may not always tell people what they want to hear. Prophets are rarely popular. But we will always teach the truth!" ("The Love and Laws of God," BYU Speeches, September 17, 2019).
I love how President Nelson reminds us that it would actually be UNCARING not to teach what we know will lead to exaltation in the celestial kingdom! Obviously, you wouldn't want to constantly be preaching to your mom and older sister, but perhaps it is helpful to remember that one of the ways to show you care is to be a constant pillar of living God's eternal truths.
Another thought that comes to mind is to the beautiful principle that since truth is eternal and unchanging, the fundamental truths that the Holy Ghost has born witness to you throughout your life is just as true today as it was when you first felt the Holy Ghost testify of them in your heart. Sometimes I see people throw away everything they once believed because they get hung up on something they don't understand. You seem like you have been unflinching in your faith, but if some doubt or worry begin to creep in, hang on to the eternal truths that the Holy Ghost has born witness of in your heart. I don't think any of us will live a life without having questions about things that have not been revealed and that we do not quite understand, but that's where living by faith come in. In time, we know all things will be revealed, but in the meantime, we know that the Holy Ghost can only bear witness of God's eternal truths, so we hold fast to those truths.
I don't know if any of this will be helpful for you, but I hope these reminders will strengthen you in some way. Down below I included an excerpt from the Church Handbook on same-sex attraction. I think it adds some good perspective.
I will go ahead and excuse the Week 5 Case Study and consider this conversation as having met that requirement. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.
All the best,
Bro. Drysdale
General Handbook
38.6.15 - Same-Sex Attraction and Same-Sex Behavior
The Church encourages families and members to reach out with sensitivity, love, and respect to persons who are attracted to others of the same sex. The Church also promotes understanding in society at large that reflects its teachings about kindness, inclusiveness, love for others, and respect for all human beings. The Church does not take a position on the causes of same-sex attraction.
God’s commandments forbid all unchaste behavior, either heterosexual or same-sex. Church leaders counsel members who have violated the law of chastity. Leaders help them have a clear understanding of faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, the process of repentance, and the purpose of life on earth. Behavior that is inconsistent with the law of chastity may be cause for holding a Church membership council (see 38.6.5). It can be forgiven through sincere repentance.
Feeling same-sex attraction is not a sin. Members who have these feelings and do not pursue or act on them are living in accordance with Heavenly Father’s plan for His children and with Church doctrine. Leaders support and encourage them in their resolve to live according to the commandments of the Lord. Members with these feelings may receive Church callings, have temple recommends, and receive temple ordinances if they are worthy. Male Church members may receive and exercise the priesthood.
All members who keep their covenants will receive all promised blessings in the eternities whether or not their circumstances allow them to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and parenthood in this life (see Mosiah 2:41).
icon, optional resources The Church provides the following resources to better understand and support people whose lives are affected by same-sex attraction:
“Same-Sex Attraction,” Topics and Questions, topics.ChurchofJesusChrist.org
“Same-Sex Attraction,” Life Help, ChurchofJesusChrist.org
In addition to the inspired help of Church leaders, members may benefit from professional counseling. Leaders may contact Family Services for assistance. See 31.3.6 for contact information.